Boulders Tart

I want to dive into that sea of whipped cream rosettes.

What is a boulders tart? Well, let’s go through the layers. First, a bittersweet chocolate cookie tart crust, sealed with melted bittersweet chocolate.

Then come the boulders: roasted macadamia nuts in caramel sauce. This was left overnight in the fridge to set and topped with a bittersweet chocolate sour cream custard.

The whole thing was finished off with whipped cream rosettes (and some chocolate curls).

Perfect.

But it was a flop! I shared this with my kid, the one that I tutor, and she was all excited and ooh-ing and ah-ing at first. I’d persuaded her last month to do some extra homework with the promise of pie to come, and I thought it was about time to reward her extra effort. She professed to love chocolate and nuts, and I needed to use up my leftover sour cream, so I thought the boulders tart would be a great two-birds-one-stone-thingy.

You may have noticed how the word ‘bittersweet’ was used to describe nearly all the layers – it was a little too bittersweet, i.e., more bitter than sweet, especially for a kid. But even that was overshadowed by the caramel, which I think may have been a little burned (for those with Korean childhood memories – it tasted like overcooked bbopkki). My kid’s enthusiasm withered; I ended up finishing her slice, and I think her mother will slowly work her way through the rest of the pie (if she is anything like my mother and harbors pathological qualms about waste).

The funny thing is, I actually thought the caramel turned out ok, mostly because I’d spectacularly burned my first attempt. I’ve never seen anything bubble with so much fury. And yet, I couldn’t throw it out until I was absolutely certain it was ruined (I do have a little bit of my mother in me). So, I dipped my pinkie in there to have a taste; it is currently blistering. My reasoning was that it had stopped actively bubbling… Sometimes I think I really may have been dropped as a baby.

But what to do with burnt caramel? Well, lately, I’ve taken to flushing smelly, biodegradable things (read: rotting leftovers) down the toilet. I just can’t be bothered to take out the food waste everyday:P Ditzy as I may be, I know globs of caramel would severely constipate a toilet, perhaps permanently. So, not knowing what else to do, I left it in the corner of my sink. When I was a kid, there was an urban legend that if you swallowed gum (I don’t know why on earth kids do that!), it would stay in your stomach for seven years. I’m expecting the caramel to gradually melt away like the gum, though I’m hoping it doesn’t take seven years.

Well, I guess you win some and you lose some. It’s just a pity you can’t tell in advance which it’s going to be. (And it has nothing to do with the effort you put in!)