(Just) Lime and Key Lime Pies

Doe is confused, which are the regular limes and which are the key limes?

(Doe is a wooden deer with no cognitive functions. When they’re right next to each other, you shouldn’t be confused.)

I was as confused as a wooden deer. I’d read that key limes are tiny, ping-pong or golf ball sized, and limes are slightly smaller than lemons. So when I found really small limes, I had a full-on philosophic debate about the nature of things in the middle of the supermarket: “Are these really tiny limes or rather large key limes?” And back and forth it went. Except this was, in reality, more of a scientific question because there really was only one right answer.

In the end, I decided they were key limes after all. I managed to convince myself that they were about the size of golf balls. (I’ve never touched a golf ball in my life.) And then euphoria ensued. I was going to make key lime pie!

All of the lemons and limes that come my way get an extremely thorough cleaning, mainly to get rid of any residual pesticide on the zest (which most recipes require, as they possess the most flavor). I long for the day when I can get my hands on some organic citrus fruit, but in the mean time, a remedy quite reminiscent of a third grade science experiment will suffice. One cup of vinegar, another of water, and a tablespoon of baking soda, and it’s like the limes are submerged in a detox volcano. (The tiny little key limes were literally spinning!) And then they’re scrubbed down, as mercilessly as one would be at a Korean bathhouse. I don’t even wash myself this clean.

A graham cracker crust. Man, I haven’t had graham crackers in over fifteen years! It’s another one of those ordinary things that’s scarce on this side of the Pacific. I have very fond memories of making s’mores with graham crackers and campfire-toasted marshmallows with my girl-scout troupe… I have to say, though, digestive biscuits work just as well for crusts, and, leaving silly sentimentality aside, I’ll probably be using the more accessible biscuits for my pies in the future.

Zesting and juicing the limes. My first time working with limes, and I think they’re just lovely! I love how they have really thin peels and are just packed with juice. The tiny things exude almost as much juice as a large lemon.

And I’m getting better at making Italian meringue! I couldn’t quite get a good, picture-worthy “bird’s beak,” but this is the most glorious batch I’ve made so far. The secret? I’ve begun following directions… like a cult follower. I age the eggs, wash the bowl 2 or 3 times with a separate washcloth, use an electric thermometer… Yes, I’m totally obsessed.

Doe rather likes her perch atop soft, billowy meringue.

I ended up with two pies! (I had leftover filling.) Well, one proper pie, and one more like a crusted pancake with oodles of meringue. Ironically, the pancake is the larger and more aesthetically pleasing one.

I’d have to say that a lime is more tart than a lemon. And for some reason, it seems to taste a little green. And good. Doe wants a nibble, too.

And then it happened. I was strolling through the foreign food market in Itaewon several days later, and I saw them – real key limes! Wee, chestnut-sized, lil things. Dark, forest green. Unmistakable. They really are a totally different fruit! Another debate followed: Does making key lime pie with limes count? Especially if I’ve found real key limes? But who’s keeping track? And these tiny things are like a dollar apiece! And on and on. What won me over, in the end, was the sheer awe of having found such a rare fruit in Korea. Like finding a perfectly preserved piece of the moon in a terrestrial crater. I could not just pass it over; desperately needed but tantalizingly out of reach key limes would haunt my dreams forever.

I’m having far too many middle-of-the-supermarket debates with myself.

So I made another pie, this time with real key limes.

It was even better. Key limes are even more tart than limes. And more intensely lime-like (if that makes any sense). The verdict? It was totally worth the other two to get to this one – at least for the initial experience.